The Art of Mourning

Pansies & Brunerra - paint marker on canvas -Top

I worked on the top of my painting with the pansies and brunerra flowers and the framing. It was my intention to put something on the bottom. I just could not figure out what. My design was intended to be Victorian, so I decided to paint a cameo. My mother was very sick and I was told she was only going to live a few more days. I was overcome with grief. So, when I got the phone call from my daughter that Mom was gone, I just got hyper-focused on this piece. I just could not process her death then. It was too painful. I had had a falling out with my parents and had not spoken to them for 21 years. I had tried to patch things up every so often, but was always given the brush off. Mom had called the week before her death to tell me she loved me. I went to see her that week, too. It was the last time I saw her alive. I really had not known my Mom very well, in all the lost time.

Flowers for my Mother - Paint marker and acrylic on canvas - Bottom

There was a lot I wanted to say to my Mom. I did not have the time to get to know her after 21 years. I painted my flower arrangement with a purple table runner and a lavender background because purple was her favorite color. I wrote a long letter on the back side of it and brought it to the funeral parlor. They lent me an easel, and it was displayed with the funeral spray we purchased, and the flowers my dad got for her. I hope where ever she is, she could see the pain I felt while writing that letter. I hope she heard my thoughts while I wrote it.  I could not believe after so much time, I only got a week. You cannot take back things said when you are angry. You cannot get back lost time. I made a promise in that letter that I would help look after my Dad. He is 89. I hope to fulfill that promise.